Blog 12

I am surprised how badly I have written some of my previous blogs and I am pretty satisfied with some of them ( when and how such ideas came to me) as I read my all previous blogs. In fact, journey from the blog one to eleven was experience of both pain and pleasure. Pain in a sense that sometimes I run out of time and was so much occupied with other things that I was not able to submit them on time (I think three of them I submit after due day and completely missed one). Pleasure in a sense that I was expressing myself not only in my diaries or in papers that was handed to professors ( in fact I used to write diaries in native language and most of time burn them after 2/3 years ) but among other people.

Expressing ideas in sweet, short and precise way was problem with my blog writing. Most of time, while commuting in train and buses I used to think / plan to write blogs or any papers. But when I start writing, I felt very much deadlock. I usually get frustrated, walk around kitchen, make coffee and drink, read the resource and text books and assignment question again, and do many other weird things, take a shower or many times blame professor for giving so much work. I have occasionally just read blog questions over and over again just as German poet Raina Maria Rilke spent couple days in a zoo watching panther to write a single poem, “The Panther”. And all of sudden when I start writing two or three lines, I was greatly amazed how quickly I surpassed 250 words. So I would say writing 250 words was not problem for me but the real problem was to write first five lines and organize the ideas that was in my head.

It was a great advantage for me to read other people’s blog for it helped me to learn how native people with English as their mother tongue writes and know their perspectives’ which I could not have if there were no blogs. One big thing I learn from reading couple blogs were how people were capable of saying the same thing in 300 words which I might have taken more than 500 words to explain. When I write I usually do not think what I am writing but when someone comments on some of my writing it was amazing sometimes when people have different perspective when I totally mean another thing.

I would say that I have technophobia and especially when it comes to computer and internet I am little bit shaky. So at first I was very frustrated at even uploading blogs because of lack of familiarity with right procedure. However, as time went by everything turn out to be smooth and now I enjoy doing it.

Last winter, in my Sociology class, I was assigned to write in discussion board and at those times I felt very awkward to put what I feel. Now after this blogging in Shakespeare class I am pretty confident to showcase what I write no matter how bad it is for grammatical reasons, organizing ideas or any other reasons. Therefore I must admit that blogging was great experience for me to kill my timidity in expressing myself.

By the time I started writing first couple of blogs, I stated to think to create some blog myself, especially about Nepal, its past present and future political scenarios, its social and economic problems etc. and make a team of online community across the globe, within the diasporas’ of Nepalese communities mostly in US, Canada, Australia and New Zealand, Japan, countries of European Union, middle east and eastern Asian industrializing countries like Malaysia and Korea. Another one I am planning to create a blog, concentrating mainly on entertainment like books, music and movies and get connected with people of my types who love reading books, watching movies and listening to music of my kind. I have never thought of online community or making a forum of like minded people who share common interest and ideology through blog before. Now I will do it – get connected with my old friends, the people that share my ideology, interest and ambition.

Last but not the least, thanks for blog assignments’ which was easier than writing essay papers as grammar was not taken into the consideration. It was more like free writing for me just flow the emotions and thoughts, and you would be fine, irrespective of any rules and syntax of language just as beat poems and writings of 50’s.

Blog 11 Lady Macbeth's Sleep Walking Scene

All three pieces of Lady Macbeth’s sleep walking scenes were masterpieces. After watching three times each I am unable to grade them with different grades. They were all A plus particularly the first two ones for their action performance and the last one for powerful singing. I must admit the fact that third version of Shirley Verrett, I have no idea what was going on. However I was moved more by the music and the voice of actor than her acting.

Jane Peptone : When she came up from stairs to high platform, she walked back and forth and looked in air so astonished that she was totally paranoid. Her pain strikingly cries and sometimes hysterical smiles reflected her mental breakdown. Her expressions were full of guilt, remorse, isolation, and insecurity nearer to the stage of human insanity. When she said lines, “all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand” – she look really remorseful, spreading her hand away from her nose-face as if there were real blood and its smell. At last when she pulled and pushed her husband virtual and imaginary hand to go to bed, her performance did great justice to Shakespeare classic. “What is done can’t be undone” part of her performance showed her desperation and loneliness and her need of her crime partner husband’s deep and intense emotional support in time of her mental crisis.

Judi Dench : After watching Judi Dench as Queen Elizabeth - a witty, cunning , arrogant and royal lady (queen), I never thought her acting so deep in agony, grief and remorse. I have Judi image as either queen Elizabeth or rough and tough Bond. As she appeared in the sleep walking scene with her left hand finger in mouth holding a candle light with right hand – her cries were full of guilt and remorse. Her eyes full of deep pain, her voice trembling with emotions of pain were much noticeable. Pronouncing her word “still” emphasizing deep agony and afterwards deep cries after saying the lines, all perfumes……this little hand, was the height of perfection; Judi Dench as Lady Macbeth to her best. I have nothing more accurate to comment expect borrow the lines from the afterward lines from the doctor. “What a sigh there Judi Dench heart was sorely charged at that time,” as Lady Macbeth as she was charged with full authority of Queen Elizabeth I in Shakespeare in Love.

Shirley Verrett : Her lady Macbeth sleep walking scene was more of singing than of acting. Her voice were so finely tuned that it was hard for an audience to focus on her acting. Watching and listening her third time I felt that her opera was full of more melancholy about some lost love or tragic destiny than guilt or remorse that lady Macbeth was going through. However it still was a great piece of work.

Blog 10

Fair is foul, and foul is fair, - Macbeth (1.1.11).

In the opening scene of Macbeth, right after famous opening lines of the play when shall we three meet again……, the above lines are spoken by three witch together. The lines provide, “an attention getter” to the audience and give the sense of thriller going to happen. The lines set the same mood as the lines spoken by Marcellus in Hamlet.

“Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.” (1.4.90)

If we look closely, the entire Macbeth play orbit around the idea reflected by the above lines same as Hamlet’s rotten affair of a corrupted state. Macbeth and Lady Macbeth try to blend fair with foul and foul with fair. Though their conscience makes strict demarcation between fair and foul, their ambition mixes them together to justify themselves.


Look like th’innocent flower, But be the serpent under’t. (1.5.63)

The lines are spoken by Lady Macbeth to her husband. It’s interesting to note that even in their first contact besides the hereabout letter of meeting three witches and their prophecies send by Macbeth to his wife, she knows what Macbeth is thinking and has already made her plans that parallels her husband thoughts lacking resolute actions. As the king Duncan was coming to one night stand on theirs house, lady Macbeth wants to look her husband cool, normal and full of hospitality hiding his real intention. She asked her husband to approach, “I am not what I am”-(1.1.66) attitude of Iago in Othello.
She acts right as her suggestion in front of king – she totally hides her serpenty and displays her fake floweriness. Since Hamlet got no particular suggestion for his image by his close confident and associate Horatio, he uses insanity in stead of floweriness to hind his serpenty towards his Uncle Claudius whereas Claudius uses soft and diplomatic language to hide his serpenty towards all particularly to his nephew Hamlet in the play Hamlet.


There’s daggers in men’s smiles (2.3.33)

The lines are spoken by Donalbain to his elder brother Malcolm, the next heir to the Scottish throne, after they knew that their father had been murdered. Though they saw everybody swearing loyalty to their murdered father and calling for revenge and justice, they trust no body. All people are pretending to be their allies but as Donalbain says further, The near in blood, The nearer bloody.(2.3.36). These young princes are aware of the fact that everybody meets them with smile and respect but do not show off what is inside their mind. So, Malcolm plans to flew to England and Donalbain to Ireland. They wants to hide their identity before they really know the real traitor as for them all people appear traitor behind their smiling faces.
Though I did not came to me a precise character and lines resembling to the above line in other plays of Shakespeare (may be the meaning of the line is so obvious in Hamlet and Othello that it’s hard to notice a single one- in fact Iago and Claudius character is what the lines suggests), but I found some lines by Polonius advising his son Laertes before leaving for France in Hamlet where the above lines fits.

Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportioned thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar
There’s daggers in men’s smiles

Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man’s censure, but reserve thy judgement.
There’s daggers in men’s smiles

Blog 9

It’s a “both way right” answer whether Hamlet’s fate is played by a divinity or other factors. I could imagine Hamlet as a jolly-merry-good fellow studying in the University of Wittenberg and all of sudden he is back to home for sudden and unexpected death of his father. To his surprise his mother has just married to his Uncle Claudius within a month of his father’s death. Danish throne which might have handed to him after he finishes his studies, or when his father retires is occupied by his Uncle now. Is not it a fate?
On the other hand, even after Hamlet could have executed his Uncle after knowing the truth from his father’s ghost. But instead he is absorbed by his own thoughts and philosophy of over time thinking. His extreme passion of hatred to send his Uncle to hell after he dies prevents Hamlet from killing his Uncle while he was praying. He meditates too much here while he kills Polonius who was hiding behind the curtain, guessing as his Uncle without no thinking at all. I wonder why the thought of sending his Uncle to hell came to Hamlet mind when his sword was over Claudius head and on the other hand nothing at all while killing Polonius.
Hamlet’s dilemmas to trust his father’s ghost, scheduling “The Mousetrap” play making similar pseudo scenario as his father was killed to study Claudius psychology, accidental execution of Claudius death etc are few of other thing that determined Hamlet’s fate. However, again at last Hamlets admits to his friend Horatio that everything in determined by providence. As Horatio suggests him to deny fencing with Laertes saying he is not fit if he has already felt some vibe of misfortune when Hamlet says, But though wouldst not think how ill all’s here about my heart- but it is no matter. (5.2.85-86), Hamlet is not making a practical decision here. He sounds too much of fatalist when he declares, There’s a special providence in the fall of sparrow. If it be now, ‘tis not to come. If it be not to come, it will be now. If it be not now, yet it will come – the readiness is all. Since no man of aught he leaves knows, what is’t to leave? Let be.(5.2.192-96). Even saying so he appreciates human struggle for attainment of their goal emphasizing one’s preparation and planning. If it be not now, yet it will come – the readiness is all. Since no man of aught he leaves knows, what is’t to leave? Let be.(5.2.192-95) . The lines echo to me when Hemingway’s code hero Santiago saying , “It is better to be lucky. But I would rather be exact. Then when luck comes you are ready”in his Magnus opus, The Old man and the Sea. But even he says so I would say Hamlet was not ready as per the situation in many times. It’s clear from Claudius saying and Horatio conversion that Laertes is better with sword than Hamlet.
Assume that if Hamlet has killed his Uncle and now is throne to kingdom of Denmark, even he could not escape the chance of brawl with Fortinbras. If Hamlet had won he could have king of Norway as well or lost his life or kingdom or both in brief time.
I believe that “There’s a divinity that shapes our ends, / Rough-hew them how we will” but not to that extreme point that we should do nothing and expect some miracle will always happen. Trying to be exact to grip the luck when it comes, is the best policy. All a human can do is just give her/is hundred percent commitment, hope for the best, prepare for the worst and leave everything to providence, chance, luck, destiny, Almighty, God, Creator or whatever other names we could say.
Further more, it spite of all, it was Shakespeare’s mind who provide Hamlet such destiny or create such so and so situations. It was “the bard’s” idea to create globally renowned saying, “- the rest is silence”(5.2.337) as the final words from Hamlet’s mouth right before he dies. Perhaps it should also have been a Hamlet and Ophelia – they lived happily ever after type of story if Hamlet had killed Claudius when he got chance and defeated Fortinbras. Might be we should get Horatio as new Counselor to the Danish throne in place of Polonius or even to both kingdom of Denmark and Norway. But the world would not had got what it is so popularly known as HAMLET or HAMLETIC MIND.

Blog 8

Hamlet after knowing truth from his father’s ghost pretends to be mad as to disguise his intention. But in pretending so, many times he crosses the boundary we usually consider to be of sanity. He himself considers being balance and calculated acting insanity as he proclaims to Guildenstern - “I am but mad north-north-west. When the wind is southerly, I know a hawk from a handsaw.”(2.2.247-48). Four persons his mother Gertrude, his uncle now king Claudius, his lover Ophelia and Polonius at some time considers Hamlet mad while on other same consider him sane and each has their own perception regarding Hamlet’s madness.
Polonius : I found his version of Hamlet madness most funny and illogical and he can’t see beyond the horizon that since as per his advice his daughter had denied him, Hamlet is mad. I could not imagine as close aid to king and a high position courtier as him can not see the truth that a prince second to throne whose father died a month ago and whose mother has married within that month to another person, could have any other rational reason to madness expect that he is disappointment with his mother. For Polonius it’s just a “ecstasy of love” (2.1.100) as his daughter says she has denied and repel his letter and access to Hamlet. Polonius declares, “That hath made him mad”(2.1.108)
Claudius: He is the one who is very close to truth in studying Hamlet psychological condition. He is successful in finding Hamlet is pretending to be what he is not. Claudius in deeper level is less concerned about Hamlet insanity than his power consolidation. Therefore in Act 3 Scene 1 when he and Polonius secretly watch Hamlet interaction with Ophelia after “To be or Not to be” Soliloquy, Claudius protests Polonius idea of madness cause by love. “Love ? His affections do not that way tend; Nor what he spake, though it lacked form little, Was not like madness. There’s something in his soul O’er which his melancholy, sits on brood, (3.1.156-60). Claudius is very cunning in maneuvering the situation and do not protest Polonius ideas of madness in Hamlet cause by his daughter neglected love and permits Polonius to check Hamlet again secretly interacting with queen. Claudius is very diplomatic when he says, “Madness in great ones must not unwatched go”(3.2.183). By now Claudius has already read much of Hamlet ‘s mind and made his resolution to send him to England but pretends to be foreign.
Gertrude : Gertrude thinks her hasty marriage has made his son alienated and eccentric and is the main method of Hamlet madness. “I doubt it is no other but the main: His father’s death, and our o’erhasty marriage.”(2.2.57). But Shakespeare has created very puzzling scenario for Gertrude in act 3 scene 4 to know about her son’s behavior when the ghost of king appears only visible to him and he starts talking with him in air which she could not see. Gertrude exclaims, “Alas he’s mad! (3.4.105). Further when her son inquire if she has not seen king she thinks her son is paranoid and tries to pacify her. “This is the very coinage of your brain. This bodiless creation ecstasy Is very cunning in. (3.4.137-39)
Ophelia : In whole play it seems that Ophelia is devoid of her own opinion regarding anything including her lover Hamlet and always rely on her father for judging and analyzing the situation. She is unable to read development of Hamlet’s misogyny, cause by his mother’s action, when he talks hatred of woman in general. It’s interesting to note in the same act 3 scene 1 where though Ophelia is closer to Hamlet than Claudius watching them secretly, Claudius is more accurate in reading Hamlet. It’s the only place where she reveals her mind regarding Hamlet. Oh what a noble mind is here o’erthrown! The courtier’s, soldier’s,scholar’s, eye, tongue, sword, Th’expectancy and rose of the fair state, The glass of fashion and the mould of form,…………………That unmatched form and feature of blown youth Blasted with ecstasy. Oh woe is me (3.1.144-55)

Ophelia and her father views are parallel regarding Hamlet madness while Gertrude by end of act 3 believes Hamlet in partially mad caused by her hasty marriage, his affection to his father and hatred of his Uncle Claudius. Claudius unlike other is very accurate that Hamlet is projecting an image which he is not. Therefore for him Hamlet is not mad but a dangerous element to his throne and his life.

Blog 6

On hypothetical scenario of if I were Desdemona what I should have done- it’s a very complex and intricate question to answer. It’s easy to say I’ll leave and condemn or fight him back to please modern audience but things were not going as easy as that for Desdemona. I am mindful of the fact that Desdemona was not a post War II who had an education, career scope and society norm and values adjusted as per her convenience. Though I was really amazed by her first appearance as a free spirited lady who defends her decision to chose Othello and her liability towards her father and husband she chose in a very witty, emotionally balance and rational way. I do perceive …….Due to the Moor my lord.( 1.3.178-87). I was expecting the same Desdemona throughout the play.
Later her I felt she was little bit weak at reading her husband jealous and suspicious mind. As a human being she was very generous and helpful too and she became the same victim of that generosity. Her assurance to Cassio of helping him makes her seem a kind and helpful person (Therefore be merry Cassio Thy solicitor shall rather die Than give thy cause away – 3.3.26-28 ). One of the worst situation Desdemona faced was when Othello slapped her saying “Devil” in front of her cousin Lodovico when she was asking to reconcile with Cassio - 4.1.230 and her meek response was just, I have not deserve this ( 4.1.230 ) – without demanding the real cause of this disrespect and misbehavior.
Desdemona had left everything- cozy home, status of her father for everything for Othello and her marriage was also against her father’s will. As the story took place in around sixteen century and as a woman Desdemona had no support available for her besides Othello and his mercy to rely on. On the other way she also loved him beyond limit in spite of all.
The story tells Desdemona already had some vibe regarding Othello intention as he told her company Emila about her mother’s maid Barbary, her tragic end and the song of willow which was all rambling around her mind and soul. She seemed to faced consequences whatever worst it might be.
I had a mixed feeling what Desdemona’s body had done if she had my soul. One way I was sure that she will melt her beloved heart and clear all the misunderstanding whatsoever. On the other hand she was determined to face any consequences from Othello even death; because she loved him so much beyond rationale that nothing was more important to her than to surrender him. The final word when asked by Emila about her death she replied, Nobody; I myself. Farewell. (5.2.125). Normatively thinking her final words has put her on the zenith of sacrifice, compassion, forgiveness, and all other virtues that perhaps can be compared to Jesus. But on practical round with modern perspective her act is mere BULLSHIT.

Blog 5

Iago’s Sexist Language (Blog#5)
Iago considers woman nothing more than a “sex machine “. According to him any woman ultimate desires is to have good sex. From the beginning of the play he thinks that all women are frittering with other men besides their husbands. He has a very similar attitude towards every woman, even his wife Emilia besides Desdemona. He suspects that his wife is double crossing him too with Moor, the main protagonist of the play.From the beginning of the play he describes Michael Cassio as “A fellow almost damned in a fair wife” – 1.1.21. By this he means that Cassio wife though she is a fair looking woman is cheating on him.
Iago is always using vulgar languages explicitly to describe man-woman relationship especially their mating. He describes, “Even now, now, very now, an old black ram is tupping your white ewe” (1.1.91-92) as a words inform Brabantio what his daughter is doing now. In another line, he says, “your daughter and the Moor are now making the beast with two backs.”(1.1.115).
Iago in general has no warm and loving feeling towards any person and his feeling turn even bitter when it comes to women. He is very selfish and self-centered manipulator who has not a single tint of humane emotions like love, kindness, sympathy, helpfulness etc. He is a combination of fox, jackal, wolf and goat- what it is called back in my native land. In the entire play he is using everybody as a tool to gain his vested interest and is loyal to none. He uses his friend Roderigo, his own wife Emilia, Cassio, Othello – everybody to quench his desire, lust and ambition. He thinks man who falls in love and try to scarify his life for love are worst than a monkey and prefer to be monkey than lose life for love,” I would drown myself for the love of a guinea-hen, I would change my humanity with a baboon.(1.3.309-10). For him all man who desire woman except for his cranial pleasure are fools and woman are nothing but flesh and bone that gives man a pleasure at bed and women themselves enjoy being like that. He is never willing to have any emotional relationship with a woman even to his wife. His attitude towards his wife is reflected in when he says, “She gives you so much of her lips As of her tongue she oft bestows on me, You will have enough.”(2.1.110-113).
However he is hundred percent cruelly rational and is precise as mathematical theory devoid of any emotions. He rationalizes that men should control his desires and lust and women are the great stimulator of this men’s weakness. Here he considers women as simply an amusing things as drink or drugs which give man certain pleasure. It is harmless to have some pleasure sometimes but is fatal to get addicted. Sometimes Iago often seems promoting some mythical ideas still popular on some part of the world as if women templates men desires which lead them to door of hell. So it’s better to stay away from them to attain spiritual salvation for man.” But we have reason to cool our raging emotions, our carnal strings, our unbitted lusts; whereof I take this, that you call love, to be a sect or scion.” (1.3.223-24) He furthers elaborates that love is nothing but an infatuation for carnival pleasures.
For Iago those who are honest are fools and those who appears to be honest but have their own hidden agendas in being honest “have some soul” (1.1.54). And he proudly confess to be a such one. “And such a one do I profess myself.”(1.1.55). He is not a person who goes to pay for the straight to salt but a one who is always looking for chances to back bounce his friends, masters and enemy alike. His ideas regarding reverence is best portrayed in lines, “Many a duteous ……..I follow myself(1.1.45-59)

Blog 4

If we assume that Shakespeare is referring to two soul mate in his sonnet 116 which first lines begins as , “Let me not to the marriage of true minds” Benedick and Beatrice can be soul mate but on certain conditions. Both are quick, sharp, expressive, witty but lonely inside. During the period when Shakespeare wrote, Benedick lord of Padua is well to do fellow and Beatrice as well is rich enough to lead a noble life in Elizabethan period in city of Messina which was predominately English. Both match in status and character and have least chance of having conflict because of financial or career enhancement priorities. We can see that both are able to hire few servants from some remote parts of Scotland or Africa as other well to do family of that time. It seems to me that even after marriage; Beatrice doesn’t have to work even inside kitchen and home and can afford to amuse herself reading books, studying Latin and Greeks, going theaters etc whereas Benedick as well can enjoy his life on other pleasure of that time appopriate to him. However, if such couple get married in present time, let say in NYC and both are on their own, then they might end up as Mr and Mrs. Kramer in Robert Benton movie Kramer Vs Kramer ( Beatrice might get bored with daily mundane life of cooking, preparing child for school, cleaning etc at the cost of her potential in other outside career and Benedick being too much centered his outside to meet their ends career neglecting Beatrice’s emotional needs / It’s weird for me to imagine Beatrice leaving six year son in husband hand to pursuit for her career ; or may be she would have asked Benedick to flip flop the role – you take care of home and I work outside or let’s share both home and outside work together ). But they were living in different world then.

It’s seems to me rather Benedick has surrendered himself on the will of Beatrice as he loves her and vice versa. From the beginning of the play it is the Beatrice who is inspiring Benedick for his actions of wit and sophistry. She is over him as we saw that she convinced him to challenge Claudio for harsh treatment of Hero. Without her it hard to imagine Benedick’s strong wit and wisdom. She is complementary to him and without her, his character can’t be well defined. The most important is both realize that they love each other even after it was reveled that both were crossed by their friends and cousin and told lies about how each love one another. Even here Beatrice is manipulating him when she says, “ I would not deny you, but by this good day, I yield upon great persuasion, and partly to save your life, for I was told, you were in consumption.” Note she is surrendering to save his life. However such silly things and personal ego vanishes when two people really are in love and are committed to take care of each other. When Benedick kisses after this to stop her mouth its mutual love and harmony they have learned to share. I don’t think its one’s surrender over other’s will but a mutual understanding which every couple who are in love should must possessed.

The Silent Hero Speaks

The Silent Hero Speaks (Hero’s Monologue)

(Hero is in nunnery. It’s late in the night and she is trying to sleep but in vain)
Oh what a miserable day it was. I still can’t believe if it is real or dream. How happy I was that day. I thought my dream came true and it all vanished so quickly. It’s already been a month I has been in the nunnery as per Friar Francis’ plan and know nothing what is going outside. Oh what sharp were those words from Claudio, “an approved wanton”. “ A common stale” that’s what Don Pedro, so called Prince of Arragon announced me to be. These words have been echoing all in my mind as it was just a minute ago.
What a poor and miserable condition was my father in – instead of verifying the truth he asked for dagger to kill himself.

Nowadays I feel I am visited my evil spirits. Last night I saw very terrible dream where I was stabbing both the prince and Claudio to death and when they died I took both men’s heart. What a horrible and scary dream. Is my mind is capable to imagine such brutal acts. Oh god I don’t know – few more days like these I will become completely insane. I must be strong and carry on, have patience, trust good people like my lovely Beatrice Benedick and friar.

(Turn her head on pillow to another side)
It’s seems like yesterday. My happiness knew no bounds. There I was in rainbow color, at zenith of my happiness. . I curse the night before the wedding and that was the only night I insist my sweet sister Beatrice to left me alone. Why I send her away – just to avoid her chatter and teasings.If she had been with me that night, I would had very hard evidence to defend Claudio’s charges. She would had been my mouthpiece, my advocate and protected from all this false charges. At first I was confused and did not believe my ear when Claudio said I was a ‘rotten orange “who “knows the heat of luxurious bed’’. The words slap my face and went straight to my heart when he said I was Diana (Virgin Goodess of hunt and moon) outside and Venus (fickle and promiscuous goddess of love and lust) inside. And the prince backed up everything he said when I protest him. Was that the nobleness and virtue of a Prince to dishonor an innocent woman? If Claudio had asked me to die as Hero (Hero name is mythical character who died for her lover Leander ) did , I should have but I was defenseless for such an irrational question as what I was doing the previous night , with which man I was talking to. And both prince and his bastard brother John supported Claudio as if they had seen with their eyes.

Oh no here is the point. John, the Bastard. After I slowly started coming to consciousness, Benedick was saying both prince and Claudio were both honorable and it might be John who might have trick them. Oh lord let Benedick be right in his judgments. I don’t understand what evil I have done to John. I even do not know him closely. May be he is jealous of Claudio glory and did not want to see him happy. So I must wait till the truth is revealed. But even if it’s true what a gullible person is Claudio?
A man such high honored whose bravery has spread all over Messina, can be betrayed so easily. Can he be such shallow and fallible trusting other people words without proper verification? Should not the prince is supposed to have sound and fair judgment? This incident taught me how the world is structured in a way men has always power over women. What if the same blame, even though because of some misunderstanding, was put to Claudio by me- would he accept me afterwards when the truth is prevailed? Then why should I accept him afterwards? How it is that it is not an unchaste act for a man to brothel-haunt and for a woman like me without any evidence one can blame anything, “an approved wanton” , ha ha ha ?

The greatest sufferer of all these misfortune is my beloved father. What he might be doing this time? I am sure he did not have slept and feed well in all these days? Please lord has mercy to Him. What a shame for him being governor of Messina at this old age to bear such dishonorable situation. Uncle Antonio and Beatrice must be there to pacify him.

Oh what an agony is covering me. What should I do to pacify my soul? I must wait and wait and wait. Reprises …. To everything there is a season, and time to every purpose….
a time to kill a time to heal a time to break down a time to build up… I time to weep a time to laugh (and that will come soon ) …….. a time to keep silence a time to speak. a time to love a time to hate ( hope it will over by tomorrow ) a time of war a time piece…..{ Repeats this lines / The Book of Ecclesiastes 3 : 1 – 10 and tries to sleep }

About Me

Name : Prakash Tiwari
Marital Status: Married with two children, Son 7 years and daughter 4
Years
Age : 34 years
Birth Sign: Sagittarius
Favorite Past Times: listening music, reading books and watching movies, traveling
Best Books: 1. The Old Man and The Sea – Hemingway (This book gives me moral and spiritual energy to face failures)
2. The Animal Farm – George Orwell (This book defines present situation of my native country Nepal and has a Universal theme that appears after major political leadership change.
3. Siddhartha – Herman Hersee ( Philosophy of life in being happy with dealing with simple mundane daily works )
4. The Catcher in the Rye – JD Salinger (Assimilate with alienation and phony scenario that I felt living in NYC)
5. My Antonia – Willa Carter (Powerful nostalgic theme and childhood and teenage romances which a man can never write in such a beautiful way Ms Carter has written)
6. Sumnima / Tin Gumpti (Nepali) (stories of fight between bodily pleasure and spiritual attainment- salvation; novels inspired by Freudian literary works)
7. The Stranger – Albert Campus ( powerful revelation of one’s true feeling putting societies norms and mores aside / undoing one’s hypocrisies which nobody can do as protagonist Meursault does )
Best Music / Artist: Bob Dylan, Tracy Chapman, U2, Pink Floyd, Bob
Marley, John Lennon, George Harrison, Eric Clapton,
Al Pachino, Robert Di Nero etc
Best Movies : The God Father Trilogy / High Noon / The Treasure of Siarra Mande / A Bronx Tale / Forest Gump / Casablanca / My Fair Lady / From Here to Eternity / All Quiet On the Western Front / Sunset Boulevard / Singing in the Rain / Taxi Driver / The Grape of Wrath / Raging Bull / Goodfellas / Casino etc and the latest one , “ Devil Wears Parada ’’

Favorite Lines: “A man is not made for defeat... a man can be destroyed but not defeated ’’ – Hemingway (The Old Man and the Sea)



My name is Prakash Tiwari. I migrated to this country in July 2005, in a diversity visa lottery program, later joined by my wife on December of the same year. I have two children, little one three-year girl and the old one boy is turning to be six years next month. They are not here with me because visas for them were not issued at that time. The petition for them had already been approved and as per the US immigration policy, they will be coming here four years from now around 2012 AD. My parents 63 years old father, a retired pensioner and 54 years old mother, a life time housewife are taking care of my children now back in my native country Nepal.
I was born on 1976 in small country Nepal located, as it seemed sandwiched between two big nations of India and China. I have not a brilliant academic record but I was somewhere above average in my high school days. I passed my SLC exams, which is equivalent to grade 10 in United States in year 1992. After losing my study path for couple of years I passed my Intermediate Exams, which is equivalent to grade 12 in United States in year 1998 as a private student, which means not attending college or more like doing GED. Though I wanted to pursue higher studies, I was trapped in between my family responsibility and financial hardship.
I am planning to get Associate Degree in Liberal Arts from LaGuardia because most credit in this area can be transferable to four year college. This is my second semester and by the end of this semester I will complete 28 credits. I am planning to take either math or account or may be education major. I have two carriers in my mind; first is to become a secondary math teacher and second is to become auditor or accountant.
I have great passion for reading books ranging of all kinds on literature, philosophy, history, economics, politics, poetry etc. I love to watch movies especially with historical theme or some message in it. I am also a genuine music lover and fond of 60’/ 70’s rock n roll and blues music. Artist with message in their songs like Dylan, Lennon, Bob Marley, Tracy Chapman, U2, Pink Floyd etc songs have always make me cry and happy whenever I tuned them. If I had enough money and other regular source of income so that I don’t have to work, I like to spend rest of my life reading books, writing and doing social works in remote village of my native country Nepal.
I had worked almost ten years in a Bank Card Acquiring Company, which in terms of Bank Card Business is called “Merchant Service Provider” back in Nepal from year 1995 to 2005, before coming to United States. I started my carrier as Assistant Customer Service in that company and was later moved to branch supervisor and finally moving to Sales and Marketing Department as officer. Now I am working in Account Department of Realty Corporation as Filing and Data Entry Assistant from January 2007.
There are three principal reasons that have pushed me to pursuit my college degree besides other secondary reasons. Firstly, a formal education has importance of its own which no one can deny in spite of its costs and commitment. It expands mental horizon and help to analysis everything around us more critically. It cleans our bias and lead to better understanding of the world. Therefore I see no better alternate than continuing education in coming four years before my children are here.
Secondly, I have an unpleasant professional experience about what lack of formal education degree leads. As I mentioned above, I started my carrier as entry level assistant in card business and in my long carrier span of ten years gain many expertise in the field from indentifying and expanding market, fraud and risk management in card business, resolving disputes among customers and card issuers etc. But my growth was limited in that industry to a certain level. New people who entered in my industry with college degree got direct access to higher level post with handsome salary even though they have least idea about the inside depth of card business. I often guide them handing their affairs and I knew more than them but my growth was limited, all because of absence of college degree.
Thirdly, I want to set examples to my children to go for college degree. I strongly believe that if I finished my college degree, the chance of my children to follow the same path doubles and eventually lead them to an excellent carrier of their desire. I don’t want my children to make the same mistake I made a long ago and end up with failure in carrier enhancement. I am first person in my family to attain college and with some knowledge of college experience it will be easier for me to guide my children.
Nowadays I am counting my days for children to arrive here in United States. I am waiting, sometimes with despair and sometimes with patience, the years to come when my children will grow enough to care of themselves and start a good carrier so that I will be able to focus on my long dreamed social works in remote village of Nepal.

Blog 2

Benedick Diary Before War
I often feel scary about war no matter how strong I look outwards. Who knows may be I am here today and by the time war is finished I will be on another world. Sometimes I feel it’s better to go to war than to fall in love and make silly promises to your partner just to make her happy. And won’t it be even worse if heart goes after such a demanding and tattling women like Beatrice. What a miserable life it would be – worse than dying in war. However she acts wise sometimes and if she changes her silly gossiping habit…. She is really witty and beautiful too… Oh what a fool I am, why I am thinking of her when I don’t like her. Oh what a fickle mind, a vagabond. To tame this mind is much more difficult than to win a war.

Benedick Diary on evening of Act One after “Skirmish of Wit’’
Oh what a piece of work is this woman. (Modification of Shakespeare phrase “What a piece of work is a man” ) She doesn’t know how to respect an honorable man who has just arrived from war with victory on his hand. Has she always been like that, with all the people alike or it’s only me that she is so rough with? Is there anything wrong with my personality, or attire? Perhaps I should not have bounce back her harsh words with referring her “Disdain”. But she really is disdain. May be I should have avoid to come across her. Oh Lord why I came across her. I am admired by all beautiful damsel (is not this old term for girl and lad for boys) of Messina expect her. And there falls another victim of Cupid- my dear comrade Claudio. Now he sees nothing expect Hero. Is not Hero better than Beatrice? But she is not my type; too shy, gentle and sophisticated to deal with.

Shakespeare’s character Benedick is just pretending to be carefree and immune to love but he is not. He too has a nice romantic attitude but is trying to create a persona indifferent to love and woman. For me he is some sort of victim of psychological dysfunction - a man might developed in which he mistakenly thinks that its hard to cope and go along with a women. As with love and marriage come commitments and responsibilities and to this Benedick is afraid of. Benedick remind me an another character Pro. Henry Higgins created by GB Shaw in his play Pygmalion. Like Higgins Benedick thoughts are parallel towards perception of woman, Higgins declares- “Woman upset everything. When you let them into your life, you find that woman is driving at one thing and you’re driving at another. The woman wants to live her own life and man wants to live his own and each tries to drag the other one the wrong track. One wants to go north and other south and the result is both have to go east.”( Act II ). Similar type of saying is declared by Benedick to Cladiuo when questioned about lady named Hero.

In spite of all stereotyping of woman by Benedick to be worthless and particularly of Beatrice, he is unknowingly attracted to her. And Beatrice too is attracted to Benedick. The straight conversation between them like Beatrice mentioning him to stop taking as nobody marks what he says and Benedick mentioning her as disdain and telling her directly how he dislike her excess tattering shows an intimacy between them. One does not comment on other in face to face if they are not close. Therefore I think that both of them are unaware about their mutual passion, emotion and love towards each other.

Shakespeare Times and its influence on his Writing

Shakespeare spent his childhood and youth in Renaissance period and his mid-life in Reformation period of Europe. Social-economic condition, culture, religious beliefs, level of technological advancement etc must have made profound influence in his writing.

It’s very shocking that during those period life expectancy was less than 30 and half the children died before reaching age of 15. In today’s modern world where even most undeveloped countries in African and Asian region have life expectancy of above 40, it’s an incomprehensive fact. We can imagine that medical science was in primitive stage on those days. The concepts of germs and viruses that cause disease and antibiotics for their remedy was out of question. However if anyone has read Romeo and Juliet there is a character called Fiar Lawarane who prepares some sort of chemicals that acts as anesthesia and makes Juliet faint as dead for a day. This implies that perhaps Shakespeare might have heard about those chemicals or herbs that make us faint. In absence of development of proper medical science, people believe in divine power and witchcrafts for causes of diseases and death. We see that when certain no of people died theaters were closed, - “as to avoid making an angry God still angrier with the spectacle of idleness. Causes and remedy of disease were mystery and that truth reflected in Shakespeare’s plays- for instance in Hamlet, the protagonist Halmet calls, “the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to.”

During Shakespeare status of women were inferior to men and were not allowed all the privilege men could possibly have. However position of women were better in comparison to other European countries as they could walk unchaperoned into streets and go to theater, single women after certain age were liable to inherit and manage property-lands, make a will , sing contracts ,sue and be sued etc without men permission. This might have been possible as England that time was ruled for over 40 years by powerful women Elizabeth 1. This possibly might have influence Shakespeare in dealing with women character. Shakespeare women character are often active, more ambitious, witty and cruel as well. In Macbeth, Lady Macbeth is anchoring the play to boost up her man ambition. As Elizabeth was crowned in England not for her merit or not allowed to rule England for her genius and neither she was prevent from crown on ground of being women. As blood was respected more than age or sex, Elizabeth was made queen. This concept might have influence Shakespeare to deal his noble by birth character like price, princess, knights etc.
Lack of modern electronic media and ads, films, home TV and DVD equipments, the range of entertainment were limited during Shakespeare period. As from Thomas Platter writing, - theater that runs from 2 noon in two or three places in London were few entertainment available. As we are now mould by TV, media , Hollywood and the entire Madison Avenue, the people might also be shaped by theater plays , the language and dress the artist use at those time. When Shakespeare became a successful playwright he must had lead parallel life and made impact on society like today’s entertainment people like Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, Opera etc and was able to afford grand lavish life later in his life. Being a playwright must had been a profession, unlike ordinary profession like farming and trading, of glitz and glamour and might have affected his later writing of Shakespeare and vice versa.

One shocking event for post modern people like us is about Capital Punishment. In general 20/30 peoples both men and women had been executed on daily basis. The people of Shakespeare time just took those things for granted as punishment for breaking the law. Liberal thoughts of not taking something ( someone’s life ) which we can’t repay was not developed. This might have justified the unnecessary duels and capital punishment that might occurred in Shakespeare plays for simple reason as showing thumb (Rome and Juliet)

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